Posted by: Amanda Taylor | December 17, 2012

Why

I’m going to have to get through this post fast.

Before the tears.

Before I close my computer again and say, “I can’t”.

This post is going to be all over the place but tying a couple of things together.

Stay with me, okay?

I was sitting at the zoo with six children that are living in foster homes when I got the news about the horrible school shooting on Friday.  I was sitting with six children that do not have families.  That’s crap.  They have no one.  I started thinking, and looking at each of them individually…all of their perfections, imperfections, behaviors, and especially innocence.  If it had been them…no family would have been identifying their body.  A social worker would have.  No family would have been speaking at a church about their child being killed.  The world would have “hurt”, their faces would be put on social networking sites, but at Christmas day…there would not be a family that was without their child.  It would have just been another face.  And you know what, that sucks.

I was asked the question that day, “Why adopt?”  I gave some answer about how much love and joy it can bring.  I talked about teenagers needing a home to return to.  The more I thought about it though the more I want to answer with one word.  Family. They need a mom and a dad. They need someone to love them. To care for them.  To hug them tight at night when they are scared.  My kids need families.  Why adopt?

Why not?

Seriously.

I tried to stay away from the news on Friday and was pretty successful.  On Saturday I broke down and read some stories. It broke my heart.  It broke me.  I don’t want to call the man a monster but would rather just say that he is broken.  It hurts my heart to know (or believe) that he had some untreated mental health disorders.  It hurts my heart even more knowing of all those sweet kiddos that are now going to have a myriad of mental health diagnoses now that they experienced that tragedy.  It makes me know that I am in the right field and it also makes me realize just how much I need and want to go back to school.  To work with those kiddos.  To deal with trauma.  Before it is too late.

Before one of them turns into someone just like him.

It’s terrifying.  It’s sad.

I have not cared too much about the arguing of gun control in the country.  I have tried to stay out of it.  I don’t know what is best anymore.  I can say that I have been aggravated with the posts about “If God was in schools still….”  It makes it sound like he is Santa Claus sitting in a corner somewhere and if schools let him chill out at one of the desks, then broken guy wouldn’t have shot and killed those kids.  Guess what?  That school could have prayed that morning.  Guess what?  Broken man would have still walked in a shot the school up.  Isn’t God everywhere?  How exactly are you “keeping him out”.  He is not tangible and if a kid doesn’t want to believe, they shouldn’t be forced too.  If a kid believes and they said their prayers that morning and the night before, do you think the broken guy would have known and said, “Oh can’t hurt that kid…he prays?” Having God in schools, whatever the heck that means, wouldn’t have saved anyone.  No excuses.

We live in a broken and hurt society.  Not because of any one factor.  Not because of no prayer in school.  Not because of allowing guns or not allowing guns.  We, as a society, have failed those who need attention.  We are turning our backs on those people that need love, need kindness, need to fill some hope, and need guidance.  I don’t understand it and honestly, none of us ever will.  We will never get just why he did what he did.

My heart breaks when I see their tiny little faces.  I can’t imagine, I can’t understand.  How?

How could he?

I guess the only thing that I really figured out from all of this is a better answer to “Why adopt?”

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