Posted by: Amanda Taylor | June 24, 2012

Trying To Get Back

Choose Your Battles.  I can’t recall how many times I have heard that saying.  I seem to do a terrible job at it.  Tonight I was going to update my I Tunes, study for the GRE, make picture CDs from camp, and blog about my week at Boggy, however, my night was turned all around.

Here is a sneak peak of the most amazing week of my entire life.  I think my ultimate goal in life is to bring camp to the world that surrounds me, starting with the love and hope that fills my soul as I drive down Brantley Branch Road.

I wish it was easier for me to figure out life sometimes.  I wonder if it is difficult for everyone.  Is it because I don’t choose my battles?  Is it because I am going after something unattainable or that is not wanted? Is it because I am looking for happiness in the wrong places or removing myself from those things that make me truly happy?

I feel like I have learned so much in the last several months.  I have learned things about myself, about what I want, what I am capable of, and what I need.  Once again, I find myself putting those things on the back burner to fulfill others needs.  Why is it so hard for me to just make me happy?

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Tonight I feel very disconnected from those things that I really need in my life and maybe a bit overwhelmed with all that I feel needs to be done.  Can my camp pictures wait?  Will I be ready for the GRE by November?  Should I go to the gym for an hour?

I’m choosing to fight all of the wrong battles and it’s exhausting.  I need to get back to me.  Not too long ago, I wrote about being selfish and how hard it was to just give to myself instead of constantly thinking about others.  It wasn’t as scary as I thought.  It was good for me.  How do I get back to that?

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This little fella needs to cuddle right now and I guess for now this will have to do.  Is there such a thing as to many time outs from life?

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